The friendship conundrum
There is a conundrum in friendship. Perhaps this whole post will sound rather negative or naive, or whatchamacallit. The fact of the matter is, friendships are temporary. Well most friendships are. Of course some friends last a long time. But more often than not, friends shift as we go on with our lives.
I started college with one group of friends and now I am with a different group of friends. So that is totally fine. However there comes a point when friends who are familiar with me but 'shift away', not due to concious reasons, rather the growth of different individuals take a different course.
For most people friends are 'lost' naturally and slowly through a rather unnoticible process... but is it possible to conciously choose to stop a friendship? Now, I am not saying that putting an concious end to a friendship would mean being indifferent to the ex-friend. Rather is is merely a maintenance of a cordial relationship and nothing more. In other words, it becomes a friendship of casual but polite greetings and small talk. Is this viable?
There also comes a point when friends will take each other for granted. The true test of friendship is how both individuals handle themselves and open up a way to compromise. Yet if one party is being indifferent to the other's efforts, then the indifference becomes a detrimental effect. So when such a thing happens, should the friendship be conciously terminated? Yet not verbally, but rather in the mind saying "enough is enough". Is this considered bitter? Or is this just nibbing the problem at the bud?
Perhaps by doing so, it can be considered a form of escapism. But are friendships that valuable? Is it really worth all the effort to reconcile? Or should we just leave it to time to heal all wounds?
The wisdom of it all is to let things be and persevere with humility of course. We all have the knowledge of what to do, but wisdom is beyond merely knowledge, it is also experience and the higher possibility of doing the right thing.
Someone told me that the friends we have is a reflection of who we really are. So do we become better by disassociating ourselves from a certain trait? Hence, consiously disassociating from certain people?
Perhaps the first thing I should do is discern,
Who are my true friends?
Who are my false friends?
and ask
Am I a true friend? or
Am I a false friend?